Grief Support Library

Losing Love Violently |

Continued

They were all at the trauma hospital so we flew over and the nurse at the front told us to sit down. I heard them page for a social worker but I said to myself..that's certainly not for us. Then they called us into a room with 2 paramedics, and I couldn't ask the question, I did not want the answer, if I don't ask the question, they cant say it.

My husband asked, "Is Michael dead?" and the lady paramedic said "Yes sir, he is, I'm sorry. We worked on him, but he was dead at the scene." That's why he was not at any hospitals. I fell to the floor, and started screaming and only one phrase would come out of my mouth--"Oh my God, oh my Godddddd!"

They came and stuck me with a needle (a tranquilizer) I was still screaming, clutching that same picture of Michael and me hugging each other with our arms around each other. We found out that right after we all left, he was traveling on the freeway going 60 mph, when a car full of Latin King gang members drove up along side of Michael's car. They opened fire on my son's car with 2 different automatic machine guns. The first shot severed his spinal cord and he was shot three more times. His last words on this earth were, "I am paralyzed, I can't feel my legs, I can't stop the car!"

A guard rail wire made there car stop. A lady saw the whole thing and she came over to Michael and she took his hand and she knew he was dying, and she saw the big gold cross around my son's neck, and she took his hand and said "Don't worry honey, the angels will help you" and then he died right there.

She called and left her phone number at the funeral home because as a mother, she just had to let me know he was not alone, and that she held his hand, she wept as I did as she told me this story.

We learned that the instigator of this whole thing was a childhood friend of my son's, who had become a gang member and coke addict. My son cut all ties with this boy, so he developed grudge against Michael and began stalking him.

The hardest thing to live with is the fact that this boy had been in my home-- I had actually hugged this boy. It makes me ill. I have been suicidal for years following this, and I have come to the conclusion, that if I commit suicide, then I won't be with him anymore when we all die. I am trying to learn to go on but it is very hard. He was my everything, my joy, my reason for getting up in the morning. Now the house is empty and quiet. At the viewing of our son I was telling anyone that would listen: I knew he was an angel, I knew it!

Thanks for letting me share my story. I am crying now but I think it was a good thing to do....God bless all the children. God help me, I miss him so, I am just so sad!

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Souldrifter is a mother who lost her only child to violence,sensless violence. She finds it very hard to live on now without Michael

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